A few months ago, I posted a blog suggesting that now is the time to invest in mentoring – whether as a mentor or as a mentee. This led me to reflect on the impact mentors have had on me. I have had many mentors throughout the course of my life and their impact has been long-lasting. They were around during good times and bad times. There were “moments” along the way that, at the time they occurred, I knew it was a defining moment – even as a teenager I could sense it. But there were other times where it wasn’t until much later that I understood the depth of the experience.
Whether in sports, academics, as a mother, a spouse or a friend, there are key themes that hold true today about past and present mentors in my life:
- Belief
- Unwavering Support
- The Journey
- Timeliness
- Discipline and Talent
Belief
I had coaches and teachers who encouraged me to expand my horizons and boundaries. I recall breaking down with my high school coach as we were preparing for Cross Country Nationals. I was afraid, lacked confidence, and wasn’t sure if I was ready. He told me that I was courageous and I was expanding my horizons. He said he didn’t have all the answers, but he would support me along the way. I can remember exactly where I was standing – on the side of a country road on a 6-mile run. I knew at that moment I had a choice to make – venture into the unknown and find out if I "had what it takes" or retreat to my comfort zone. I took the leap of faith because he believed in me and I trusted him. This theme would repeat itself in academics where my journey to completing my Ph.D. was filled with doubt and many people both professionally and personally were steadfast in their belief in me. I think this holds true in leadership – when someone gets promoted it is very normal to doubt one’s ability to make the leap and having someone there who believes in you.
Unwavering support
Expanding your horizons is a commitment to the unknown. I don’t know how I will navigate it and yet I choose to do so. One can never achieve success without others, it is just not possible. I didn’t appreciate this when I was young – I was of course invincible. It wasn’t until I hit a “speedbump” that I understood the value of unwavering support. It is easy to support someone when things are going well. Feeling the true support of others when in tough times is, to me, liquid gold. I was able to face down various obstacles and difficulties because of the unwavering support during turbulent times. This goes beyond belief in your capabilities and into the person’s willingness to weather the storm with you.
The journey
I am wired to “set the goal, get the goal.” It is hard for me to "step back and take in the view" but that is exactly what my coach, Lyle Knudson, told me after I crossed the finish line at the Prefontaine Classic track meet. I had run against some of the best in the world, competed well, and yet because I missed a personal best, I was disappointed. It was all I could see. Lyle reminded me of where I started and where I was at. He helped me put in perspective that one needs to enjoy the journey of getting there – that’s a part of the fulfillment. This resonated with me. It means that while climbing that mountain, one needs to periodically stop to enjoy the view because it is breathtaking.
Timeliness
My mentors showed in a variety of ways and experiences the value of being on time, whether by setting a good example or a bad one. Some mentors often pushed meetings with me due to overfull schedules, and I learned from them what not to do (they taught me a lot of other valuable lessons, however). But some of my best mentors were like a metronome, and I learned first-hand from them how important it is to value others’ time. It was expected of course when competing in sports – don’t show on time for the event, you don’t compete, plain and simple. Competing around the globe I learned that in some cultures “on time” meant being 15 minutes early. I’ve learned that being on time is the simplest and easiest way I can convey my respect for others and their priorities.
Discipline and talent
Discipline & Talent. While talent is important, discipline is essential. My mentors, while supportive of my talents, have maintained that “there is always someone better than you out there.” Or in a professional setting, I've been reminded that everyone is replaceable. So, make sure you’re seeing the forest for the trees and don’t get outworked. Engage in a disciplined process to make sure you bring everything you have to an event – whether in the classroom, workplace, or athletic arena – and then let your talent take you across the finish line.
Who are the people who influenced your journey? What have you learned from them? So many people have helped me in my life – far too many to name. I am grateful for their support which I can only repay by “paying it forward.”